You know that feeling? When you're just waiting.. Waiting to go home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation.. Nothing is wrong but nothing is right either. And you're tired.. you're tired of everything and tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for onceee, you just want it to be easy. To be simple, to be helped, to be saved. But you know you won't be. but you're still hoping, and you're still wishing, and you're still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You're fighting. Sometimes you try your hardest, but things don't go the way you want them to.
I really want to sneak out with somebody. I just want to get up in the middle of the night and spend some time alone with someone. We could go have a midnight snack at McDonald's or just walk around and talk about things we normally wouldn't or maybe we could go enjoy ourselves at a park and play of the swings, or we could climb a roof and just watch the stars in silence. Nothing but just good vibes and good company. I'm the girl who prefers sunflowers instead of roses, who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers, i wouldn't make you wait on my hand and foot, but would do anything to make someone happy, i would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant, i would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. I'm the girl who wont make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead.
And you know what really sucks about falling for a guy you know you're not right for? You fall anyway because you think he might turn out to be different. But he ignores you and you like him. He does nothing YET you fall for him. You miss him even though you know he's never thought about you, and you're just sitting there waiting for a call from him or anything. Sometimes guys don't know everything a girl can do for them. A girl can find every single thing related to the guy she likes such as lyrics, quotes, and movies - everything ( ok i admit it. you're the guy all my love quotes are about. you're the one im thinking about right now. cause i really like you. i still like you, i swear, i always will. ). A girl could stay up late in the night just to wait for her crush to get online and talk for a while. Guys have no idea of how many fights we could have had with our parents or friends just to go out or talk to you. You, guys, don't know that girls, would walk a little faster or take different ways at school just to make it "accidentally" way to say 'hi'. Girls can talk about you with anyone and not get bored. Sometimes guys don't know how we could have passed thought tears and pain, just to be okay with them. I wonder how boys feel when they're in love. do they get butterflies? do they have you on their mind 24/7? do they wait for you to come online for hours? do they smile at random times at the thought of you? do they miss you all the time? do they think about the smallest things you say?
I remember once I was alone with him, I opened my mouth, almost said something.. ALMOST!!! The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had.. but I didn't. I think it's one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other, their secrets, their fears, their fav things what they like and what they hate.. literally everything and then they go bsck to being strangers. It's like you have to walk past them and pretend like you never knew them, never even talked to them before, when really you know everything about them. You know, I think one of the worst feelings is finding out that you didn't mean as much to someone as you thought you did, and you just feel stupid, and because you looked desperate, about caring too much. I really wanna kiss him and be cute with him and fall asleep in his arms and go on stupid dates but I also sort of want to light him on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
No comments:
Post a Comment